27 Ways to Up Your Oral Sex Game

Whether you’re giving or getting or both.

Of course, oral sex isn’t a competition. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t a ton of crafty ways to make it more fun (for everyone involved). Just like the rest of your sex routine, oral benefits from regularly mixing it up. So whether you feel like your giving/getting routine is in a rut or you’re just always trying to improve all the horny aspects of your life, here are 27 (yes, 27!) tips to make sure both of you are at the absolute top of your oral game.

1. NARRATE THE WHOLE THING.

Yes, your mouth may be occupied, but when you have—ahem—a spare moment, tell your partner exactly what you’re doing and how. There’s more than one way to use your mouth for sex, after all.

2. GET CREATIVE WITH POSITIONS.

Penetrative sex shouldn’t get all the fun body contortions. Mix up your oral game by physically moving around and trying new positions, just like you do in the rest of your sex life. The more body parts that are in the air, the better.

3. DO IT SPONTANEOUSLY.

Whether you’re bored as fuck watching some documentary or just randomly got horny at the breakfast table, turn a mundane situation into an extremely thrilling one with a quick oral sesh (always, of course, with the full enthusiastic consent from your partner). A rut can also look like doing very exciting sex things always at the same time/in the same place. Mix it all up by bringing your sex life into new and unexpected places.

4. BRING IN SOME TOY ASSISTANCE.

If your mouth and hands are tired (they do a lot of work all day, we get it!), or even if they’re not, you both can and should bring in some nonhuman assistance. With your partner’s permission, add a butt plug or anal beads to up the ante.

5. PUT ORAL SEX PORN ON IN THE BACKGROUND.

Not all porn is created equal, and there are tons of ethical, very chill options out there for those who are so inclined to enjoy. Find a flick you both like, maybe watch for some new moves or tips, and then get to it while the people onscreen are getting to it behind you.

6. USE YOUR BREATH.

Mare Simone, a certified tantra educator, says that using your hot breath to stimulate nerve endings is an amazing way to ramp up foreplay before diving in. This works just as well with fellatio as it does with cunnilingus. Next time you’re going down on your partner, just take a step back to breathe on their sensitive parts before making contact. The suspense will turn them on in ways you didn’t know were possible.

7. TRY SOME LIGHT PROSTATE PLAY.

Without trying internal prostate play via fingering or toys, did you know you can also stimulate a guy’s prostate externally? Cara Kovacs, an NYC-based sex coach, suggests stimulating your guy’s perineum (located between his anus and balls) by gently massaging him while going down on him.

8. KISS HER OUTSIDE HER PANTIES.

When it comes to cunnilingus, Kovacs recommends kissing your partner outside her panties for a while until she’s begging for you. “Women need more time to warm up than men, and gentle touching is a great preface,” she explains.

9. DON’T BE AFRAID TO BE MESSY AND SHOW ENTHUSIASM.

Regardless of if you’re performing fellatio or cunnilingus, it’s supes important to show enthusiasm. Think about it. The best technical skill in the world doesn’t matter if the giver seems bored, uninterested, or, even worse, turned off while going down on you. Kovacs recommends vocal enthusiasm, eye contact, and smiling to show your partner how much you enjoy pleasing them. It’s also important to be okay with messiness. “Show your partner that you like having their deliciousness all over your face. That nothing about them doesn’t turn you on and that you delight in their delight,” says Kovacs.

10. SPREAD HER LABIA.

Along the same lines of not being bashful, Jill McDevitt, PhD, CalExotics’ resident sexologist, says it’s really important to spread the labia during cunnilingus. This way, your partner has the space to approach the clitoris from all angles and sides. “Typically, beginners are really bashful about this, but spread the labia wide, get in the folds, and sensation will improve.” This is also good to keep in mind when you’re receiving cunnilingus. Don’t be afraid to reach down and ~show yourself~ to your partner.

11. MASTURBATING CAN HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU LIKE.

Yes, a tongue is way different than a finger or a toy, but knowing what works for you when you’re solo is at least a good place to start when explaining what you want your partner to do when they’re thigh-deep and ready to go. Do you like constant pressure or increasing pressure? How about speed and pace?

12. GET YOUR WHOLE BODY INTO IT.

As recommended via a podcast from the pros at Pleasure Mechanics, try stimulating (or asking your partner to stimulate) your whole body first, starting from your legs and working inward toward your clitoris.

13. SWITCH THINGS UP AT THE BEGINNING.

As many guys get close to orgasm, they typically just want you to keep doing that one thing you’re doing without stopping till they get there. A little boring, but whatever. However, to build up anticipation at the beginning, you can try shaking up your routine. Think alternating longer ice-cream-style licks with more traditional full-mouth-over-the-peen sucking.

14. IF IT’S HARD FOR YOU TO FOCUS ON ENJOYING YOURSELF, TURN THE LIGHTS OFF.

A shocking number of women have trouble letting go mentally and enjoying oral sex when their partner goes down on them. Sound like you? Try keeping the lights off so you’re less likely to be distracted by your surroundings and more likely to float off into ready-to-orgasm land.

15. YOU DON’T NEED A PARTNER TO ENJOY ORAL-LIKE SENSATIONS.

While very few things are going to exactly recreate the feeling of a tongue, some newer vibrators come pretty close. Options like the Womanizer, which utilizes suction, or the Ora 2, which has moving beads to mimic the motion of a tongue, are excellent substitutes. *blissfully counts down the days until technology can replace men altogether*

16. NOPE, YOU DON’T NEED TO DEEP-THROAT.

If your partner is super into the idea of full-penis sensation, you can deliver that easily without deep-throating. Try wrapping your hand around the bottom of his shaft and taking the rest of him in your mouth. Or place the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth. Then let his peen hit the underside of your tongue. No gagging necessary.

17. AND SINCE THE SUBJECT CAME UP, YOU DON’T NEED TO SWALLOW EITHER.

When, where, and how your partner ejaculates during a blow job should be something both of you discuss and agree upon. You don’t need to swallow literally ever, nor does your partner need to finish in your mouth at all! You might find it incredibly sexy to watch him finish elsewhere, on your body or his body—there are tons of options.

18. HAVE HIM TRY SUCKING.

Ask him to switch up his moves and try sucking on your clitoris instead—it provides a more intense pressure. No *pressure* if this isn’t for you though! Some prefer a gentle flicking motion instead.

19. HE DOESN’T NEED TO EJACULATE FOR A BLOW JOB TO BE ENJOYABLE.

Many guys don’t actually want going down to be the main event. According to a Cosmo poll, 54 percent of men like oral action as foreplay alone. So if it feels like a particular BJ has run its course, switch it up and try something else!

20. LUBE CAN TASTE GOOD.

If you’re going to be down there, you may as well experiment with different flavors. Lube can add extra sensation to a blow job and be enjoyable to you too. Lots of companies make flavored formulas that taste just slightly fruity or minty, not like candy-coated toxic waste. You can buy a sample pack at most sex toy shops.

21. TALK! TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK.

Communication is so basic but so necessary. Neither one of you can read each other’s mind during sex, so speak up if there’s something you want that he’s not delivering. There are tons of ways to verbalize it if you feel a little tongue-tied, like “It’s so hot when you...” or “I’d love it if you’d try....”

22. YOUR HANDS CAN STEP UP IF YOUR JAW FEELS TIRED.

You should never be doing anything in bed that feels uncomfortable, but if you’re coming up against a bit of muscle fatigue, try any of these hand job techniques. At the same time, flick your tongue over the tip.

23. JUST BECAUSE HE’S GOING DOWN ON YOU DOESN’T MEAN HE SHOULD IGNORE YOUR OTHER SENSITIVE AREAS.

Being stimulated in multiple areas will help a woman reach climax more quickly. So while his tongue is at work, have him play with your nipples. In the beginning, he should softly stroke your nips, but as you get closer, he can squeeze if you’re into that.

24. COOLING DOWN CAN BE VERY HOT.

Your temperature rises slightly when you’re aroused, so anything cool will be a pleasurable jolt to your senses. Point a fan in your direction so that while he’s between your legs, you’re feeling both the warmth from his mouth and a cool breeze. The combo is unexpected, and anything surprising can send you over the edge.

25. GO AHEAD, SIT ON HIS FACE.

If you’re having trouble orgasming in a standard partner-in-between-your-legs position, switch it up and mount his face, being careful not to apply too much pressure. It allows him to access a totally new angle that might be just what you need to get there.

26. THERE’S A DIGITAL VERSION OF ORAL.

Here’s a unique way to give his frenulum—the tiny bump on the underside of his penis where the shaft meets the tip—some special attention: Place the tip of your finger on it, then take his shaft (along with your finger) into your mouth. As you move your mouth up and down, rub your finger over the F-spot.

27. GET COZY.

You 100 percent do not need to be on your knees to give your partner oral sex. There are so many ways to go down that make it extra comfortable for you, like lying on your back while he kneels over you or arranging pillows to make things softer.